This may be the most difficult posting I have written since my humble beginning a little over five years ago. Not so much because of the content but because of what it reveals about me and my character. But, as usual, if someone is helped, then it will all be worth it.
I have a tendency to nurse old wounds. You know what I mean....It's when you take things from the past and dig at them a little, thinking you are helping yourself to the healing process when all you are doing is re-living the hurt,
I find myself ruminating more and reminiscing less. I have had to face some pretty darn challenging times in the last 5 years. Most of them I have put behind me and left them there. Others I put behind me and every now and again, I open that chapter and try to figure them out, waxing philosophical, and attempting to learn and grow. At other times, if I am completely honest with myself, I tell people I have put certain things in the past, when in fact they are still right there in front of me all the time because I keep "nursing" them.
Some people would say "you are doing great to even recognize that fact about yourself." Yeah, well, that may be true, but at the same time they don't have to live in my head and feel the pain I continue to cause myself. Self-inflicted pain is sometimes the worst, isn't it? So Why do I continue on this path? Perhaps it is the only way I know how? Well, that isn't completely true, is it? Maybe it is because there is something that I need to learn and then just let it go? True. I should always be learning from mistakes and heartaches.. But then where is the "let it go" part?
When is the right time to let the things in the past be things in the past and REMAIN there?
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