Update

I wanted to give you all an update to my last post. Here it is, past the middle mark of the goal I have set for myself to write 50,000 words. It started off like gangbusters and I was told to expect as much. I have the end goal in sight, I KNOW how my story is going to go. I have NEVER gotten this far with a story and I am loving it.

But then something happened....

I got another idea. It was a good idea, but my mind is now confused, for the "other idea" has a timeline. And the two timelines interfere with each other. I'M SO CONFUSED! I want to write for both but I have not the time, alas.  But I do have a plan. It's a good plan I think because I have been told "Just write" by all of my writer-ly friends. So I am starting a third writing project.

My free time has already been promised. Thanksgiving is around the corner and I want to make this year special. Well, the truth is, I need to make it special. You see, yesterday I had a deep thought. That as much as I remember this time of the year being my favorite (November through December, actually) it has become, in the last many years, something of a chore. Because, you see, so many painful memories are wrapped up in this time of year. I have had my heart broken too many times, and they have happened at this time of year. I have broken a heart around this time of year. I am painfully reminded that my children do not want to spend this time of year with me and it breaks my heart.

So here I am, inadvertently breaking the heart of my husband because I am hurting so badly. It isn't that I do not want to be with my new family and my parents, it is just that the pain of the past so overshadows the present that I rob everyone around me the joy that I KNOW the Lord wants to shine THROUGH me.

We try 'new' traditions. I like the old. The new seems foreign. The old is familiar. I must be getting old, for the stability of the past is a greater draw to my spirit. There can be compromise, however. I just need to resign myself to living in the present and making it as special for those around me as others have, in the past, made it special for me.

So, here's the plan. The key to this year's Thanksgiving celebration - simplicity. Buy as much stuff as we can pre-made. No sense overdoing it with preparations. But we still make a few dishes that conjure  the "good" about the past. The gathering might just be a small handful of people, but they mean the world to me, so I want to show them that I am fully committed to THEM and NOT the past. "Lord, give me wisdom."

The Christmas tree is still going up the day after Thanksgiving, but the decorations are going to reflect the present and the future. I am determined to eliminate the pain of the past. I do not want reminders of the past, other than the assurance that the pain is not part of me anymore.

Hopefully my "muse" will return to me (although I do not fully believe in muses.) I want to finish my writing projects and complete the work the Lord has called me to do. I just want to make sure I do it right the first time.

LET THE FESTIVITIES BEGIN!


Until next time.....