Before I get too carried away, I want to address a few things I forgot in yesterday's blog. And maybe you want to skip over some of the gory details, but I wanted to share, just for the sake of being thorough.
After I explained everything to the doctor, I asked him what his recommendation was. And his answer, "I wouldn't do it. I think it would be okay for the next year or so." But he added that he would leave it up to me. I had been weighing this for so long and now the DOCTOR was giving me pause. I just wasn't sure what to think. After a brief time I finally asked if there was any guarantees, that he could tell, that this "season" of my life would end in the next year. No. Could it be more than a year? Yes. That sealed it. I refused to live with the pain and poor quality of life, not knowing when "this was it". Let's do this!
When I was first told that I would be getting a hysterectomy, the doctor said that he wanted to use the robot. Since I had already had two c-sections, the scar tissue would be an issue, and he felt most at ease using the robot since he was able to see everything much better that doing it any other way. I was excited about that since I had actually seen the procedure being done. If you care to watch, here is the link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5T5DQI12mU
So....where was I? Ah, yes...."schooching" my behind on to the table in the OR....
That was the last thing I remember - Sad because I REALLY wanted to see the machine! No matter, I wouldn't have wanted to be awake for having the tube shoved in my throat.
The worst part, for me, was the "waking up." I hate that feeling of being partially awake but being paralyzed. I recall being in my room and my hubby standing next to me - vaguely. I don't recall being in much pain at all, which is a good thing since I was still pretty drugged. I was slow in regaining full consciousness, but when I was fully awake, nurses were still swarming in and out of the room trying to get me to breathe. I thought I was! Apparently something wasn't quite right, so they brought in oxygen to have me breathe in through my nose.
I was awake now and my dear hubby said I must have still been a little loopy because I asked him the same questions more than once. He did tell me that things went well but that the doctor found some "issues" while performing the operation. Apparently one of the tubes that had been tied twenty-four years ago had some problems. Blood had backed up and formed clotting at the knot, which had caused me severe pain. I had even been in the emergency room twice in the last ten years because of it but it was never found. Also, my uterus was very swollen and enlarged, having caused cramping and heavier than normal bleeding. And the last surprise was that there was a growth on one of the ovaries. So, despite the fact that the doctor had wanted me to keep both ovaries, I was left with just one. And it was at that point that I realized that had I decided NOT to go through with this procedure, I would have just continued to be in excruciating pain until menopause. I said a silent prayer that it was all over.
(I have since found out that the growth was nothing but a benign growth - nothing to be concerned about at all.)
But approximately an hour after I had gotten settled in my bed, I realized that there was something wrong with my chest. It hurt to breathe and I felt as if something heavy was compressing it. I told the nurse immediately and she started asking me all kinds of questions about a history of issues. All negative. She called the doctor who came in and asked the same questions. I began to get very nervous because as deep as I could breathe it hurt. They did not like the fact that my oxygen level was reading so low. The doctor ordered chest x-rays to be done immediately. I rested the rest of the afternoon and evening, trying to stay comfortable with oxygen in my nose, IV in my hand and nurses coming in every few hours to get my vitals. My oxygen levels remained low - too low for the comfort of the doctor.
Saturday morning, a new doctor came in. He ordered another battery of tests to be done to find out what was wrong. They had already begun treating me for pneumonia and now wanted to rule out blood clots and heart issues. I was transferred to another unit (one step below intensive care) to be monitored continually. Still no change. After a second round of antibiotics and a CT scan it was determined that one of my lungs had partially collapsed and I just needed to exercise it to get it "blown up." Once I was able to prove that I could breathe on my own and get the oxygen I needed (Sunday afternoon), they transferred me back to the floor I was on originally. All of the nurses were the same and were so glad that I was out of danger. They pampered me and made sure I was in want of nothing. The best part was the drugs of course. But I can honestly say that the worst of the pain had nothing to do with the surgery, or even the lungs. It was my neck where they had hyper-extended it to make sure the tube went down my throat and my arm bear the marks of blood oxygen testing and blown veins.
So now I am home and resting. The doctor said days four and five would feel like a mack truck had hit me and I am starting to feel that way. It is day five of post-op and I just want to stay in bed. It honestly has NOTHING to do with the fact that over-did things and really hurt yesterday.....well....maybe it does a little.
I am so thankful for all the prayers that have been lifted up for me. I honestly felt them. I know it will be a few weeks before I am allowed to do much of anything around the house - which is killing me, by the way. But I know that I don't want a repeat of this experience and I want to make sure that I stick around a long time, living my life to it's fullest, in a way I had never truly been able to do before.
I hope that you have found my experience to be encouraging to you. I know that I was not suffering from cancer or endometriosis or large fibroids, but each woman is different and no one is more important than another. It is unique to each of us. We must each weigh what is best for us and what we are willing/able to endure. Speak with your doctor, and if he/she doesn't "get" you, find someone who will listen and offer the guidance you need. We each deserve a full and "fulfilled" life. And only we can decide what that looks like.
If you have any questions about my experience, please feel free to ask. Thank you for sharing in this journey with me.
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